It’s happening…again, a sensation that one might describe as “over the edge” or “on a knife’s edge”. Something that I forget each time I leave the country and only remember when I’m in the middle of it again…
A roughness. Salt in an open wound. Reactions to minor things are sharper, harder the recovery time longer between each new assault.
The act of day-to-day here takes a toll. Everything from the checkpoints, mentioned in an earlier post, to grocery shopping. The big things aren’t a big deal, the little things eat through you like acid.
Cantankerous colleagues, minor gaps in security, two aggressive donor contractors or yet another item missing from my kitchen… just put me on edge. Trouble is that this edge generally comes on a week or two before R&R – I’m still 6 weeks out. Though I’ve lived here a year… I still haven’ t quite figured out what I can do to recharge my heart.
Were I at home, I’d have dinner with my three best girlfriends, spend a weekend on the Oregon Coast or go hiking up the Columbia Gorge with my dog. Here my options are far more limited.
Have already scrubbed my apartment, sorted my mostly inherited DVD collection (jettisoning nearly 100), and gone shopping. So now what??? Projects. I believe that projects may be beckoning…
Hand-crank Sewing Machine
I could purchase an old hand-crank sewing machine – not that I know how to sew well (sorry mom, you tried!). Perhaps I’ll refinish my dining room table & chairs – just not sure how long I’m prepared to live without them!
Whatever it is… I have got to find something to do that will pull me back from the edge!
17 Comments
I’d say go purchase that old hand crank sewing machine (forget about sewing) and use it as a weapon if you should ever need it! If it helps, just remember that all of us back home are thinking of you and have you in our hearts ok? It has to be difficult to be so far away but so “near the edge”.
Love,
Auntie
I’d say go purchase that old hand crank sewing machine (forget about sewing) and use it as a weapon if you should ever need it! If it helps, just remember that all of us back home are thinking of you and have you in our hearts ok? It has to be difficult to be so far away but so “near the edge”.
Love,
Auntie
Oh. . . . . . . .. . and you can always blog more because I love reading your stories 😉
Love Ya,
Auntie (maybe I should stop signing this way?)
Oh. . . . . . . .. . and you can always blog more because I love reading your stories 😉
Love Ya,
Auntie (maybe I should stop signing this way?)
Oh. . . . . . . .. . and you can always blog more because I love reading your stories 😉
Love Ya,
Auntie (maybe I should stop signing this way?)
Jo…
you know that you are loved and thought daily. Only God can give you that peace, and I pray that He will shower you with it. So many ups and downs in this life that bring us to the edge… I feel it daily right now. Keep sharing your stories, they encourage those of us over here going through the motions!
Jo…
you know that you are loved and thought daily. Only God can give you that peace, and I pray that He will shower you with it. So many ups and downs in this life that bring us to the edge… I feel it daily right now. Keep sharing your stories, they encourage those of us over here going through the motions!
Jo…
you know that you are loved and thought daily. Only God can give you that peace, and I pray that He will shower you with it. So many ups and downs in this life that bring us to the edge… I feel it daily right now. Keep sharing your stories, they encourage those of us over here going through the motions!
Thinking of you sweetie! Does it help to think of grandma in China? – No e-mail, no cell phone, NO phones at all. No DVDs no American music..remember in her letters home she spoke about the terrible music- enough to jangle anyone’s nerves!….You are so incredibly resourceful and brave.. I’m hoping you start that book. Love you, love you, love you.
Thinking of you sweetie! Does it help to think of grandma in China? – No e-mail, no cell phone, NO phones at all. No DVDs no American music..remember in her letters home she spoke about the terrible music- enough to jangle anyone’s nerves!….You are so incredibly resourceful and brave.. I’m hoping you start that book. Love you, love you, love you.
Thinking of you sweetie! Does it help to think of grandma in China? – No e-mail, no cell phone, NO phones at all. No DVDs no American music..remember in her letters home she spoke about the terrible music- enough to jangle anyone’s nerves!….You are so incredibly resourceful and brave.. I’m hoping you start that book. Love you, love you, love you.
I’m thinking chocolate.
I’m thinking chocolate.
I’m thinking chocolate.
Sending a minute long hug, a prayer that God keep you, protect you and send his angles to give you perfect peace.
love and miss you. XOXO
Neener
Sending a minute long hug, a prayer that God keep you, protect you and send his angles to give you perfect peace.
love and miss you. XOXO
Neener
Sending a minute long hug, a prayer that God keep you, protect you and send his angles to give you perfect peace.
love and miss you. XOXO
Neener