Every city in Afghanistan is dotted with Wedding Halls – large  buildings that usually sport a lot of glass, crazy lights and a large parking lot! The interior of the wedding hall is usually divided in two to, a space for the men and one for the women.

The wedding hall can usually be distinguished from a hotel because of the large billboards advertising their services. Billboards with smiling brides in poofy white dresses, their hair piled on top of their heads and with make-up jobs that would give MAC cosmeticians a run for their money! …and of course they are cuddled in close with their handsome grooms who are wearing the obligatory dark suit.

The questions that come immediately to mind are…

• Do brides really wear western looking white dresses?
• Do they really wear their hair that high?
• Do they really wear that much makeup?
• Do the husbands wear suits…and more importantly, are they that attentive???

Wedding Invitation

I’ve been invited before, but between work and frequent bouts with various viruses I’ve not been able to attend an Afghan wedding. So this week, having very nearly recovered from the worst cold in history, I jumped at the chance to attend my first…. as it turns out, I sill have that “first” ahead of me.

The real wedding ceremony took place in Kabul earlier this month. This event was something like a reception for family and friends who had not been able to attend the earlier event. Even so, it was still an interesting event!

Wedding Hall ceiling brightly lit with....CFLs!

We (all the ladies from my office) arrived together and found that there were two wedding receptions going on in the Wedding Hall. We were ushered from the main floor, down to the first. Making my way down the steps, I assumed we were going to end up in a basement. I was surprised to find a brightly lit room with high, decorated ceilings. Tables were set up in the grand hallway that swept around the curved exterior of the hall. Men were seated at the tables enjoying lunch.

Inside the room, conversations from the 150 or so women gathered provided a white-noise. I’m still don’t speak enough Dari to have it catch at my conscious mind, so it pours over me like water.

I did, however, cause quite a stir. Nothing like a tall foreign woman walking into a local reception to kill conversations, but only temporarily. Once I got seated the pointing, giggling and smiling started and several women came over to introduce themselves.

I was surprised at how many men came through the hall. Apparently when they are related to the family. The family of the groom, father and brother-in-laws even ate with their family at one of the tables in the hall.

Why am I the only one smiling???

Not having been warned that there would be food. Correction…FOOD! I made the mistake of eating lunch. Food was served on communal plates, vegetable platters, plates piled high with Kabuli (rice with a chunk of lamb, raisins and carrots…and of course the oil), fruit plates and bowls of pudding.

Darling little girl danced so hard she had to stop to pull up her shalwar!

After lunch the music started. Though the floor was open to everyone, only two women took advantage. The hand movements were precise and choreographed. The shoulder hitting the downbeats of the music while the hips swayed and popped. Though the two women were dancing together, they moved independently almost unaware of the other. On a table not far away, a younger generation practiced her dance – and for her age, was quite good!

The music changed, and I was told that the song was something like our wedding march. Soon the young couple entered, holding hands and decked out to the nines. The stared solemnly ahead as walked slowly flanked by children toward the platform where a solitary couch sat.

Bride & Groom

The photographer and videographer waited at the base of the stairs as groups of women came to congratulate the couple and have their photo taken. We made our way onto the platform, said our “ta-bric’s”, smiled, posed and then left.

I have yet to attend my first Afghan wedding, but my first reception was good fun!

Oh, and the answers to my questions are…

• some do
• yes
• yes!
  
• and nervous, but yes