I am pondering the weighty question of whether or not to extend my stay in Afghanistan. The project I am managing wraps in a few weeks and I find myself considering options. Among them are…
- moving to Kabul to manage a team there
- staying on in Mazar to manage the second phase of this program (pending donor funding)
- coming home
A few things have happened recently to really muddy the waters of this decision. From the outside, friends and family are urging me to return home. By their reasoning, I’ve managed to survive my adventure, and it is time to return rather than pressing my luck. From the inside, personal and professional considerations vie for prominence along with the omnipresent loneliness and isolation.
This is a difficult decision, and I am at a loss.
The upside of staying in this country is that it seems to be on the cusp of a major economic and social shift. A sense of possibility is nearly tangible. In the local schools students with bright eyes gather under trees, in hallways, under tents and into crowded classrooms just to learn. Along with all this possibility I am reminded of the harsh realities faced by a society in transition.
Last Thursday I got a panicked text from a colleague letting me know that our Warehouse Manager’s sister had just been seriously burned. Seems she had gone to the kitchen to prepare lunch. When she struck a match to light the stove a gas leak exploded into a fiery ball that enveloped her, burning more than 60-70% of her body.
Her family rushed her to a local hospital and were fortunate that the hospital accepted her. Doctors there bandaged her wounds and told the family they would have to find another hospital for any further treatment. The family, through well connected intermediaries, contacted the local German military hospital to see if they could help. Doctors reviewed the case and determined that the local hospital had done all they could and that even they would have to send a soldier in the same condition to a hospital outside the country.
This young woman was driven to Kabul, where doctors there informed the family that they could not treat her. So the family once again got her into a car and drove her to Pakistan. She received treatment there, but sadly, she passed away today.
Can’t help but think that, “if it was me,” and knowing that the resources that would have been mobilized on my behalf…
…I am at a loss.
22 Comments
I’m glad to have discovered your blog today, although today’s post has left me speechless.
Speaking as your friend and mother of a daughter who’s been traveling away from me for decades (it seems), I just have to turn this back to you. Your writing communicates a Jolynn who is totally absorbed in her good work. You’ve morphing into this more and more amazing woman. A woman who can shovel gravel with a mayor, a woman looked up to by every life you’ve touched in Afghanistan–especially the women.
Will you feel you’ve left stuff undone?
Would coming home keep that sense of fulfillment in you?
Of course, your family misses you a bunch and I know you’d like getting back on safer ground with good American food, working air conditioners and up-to-date communication vehicles.
Tough call. One only you can make. Family and friends can advise, but ultimately it has to be whatever your gut is telling you.
Wishing you all the very best no matter which path you choose.
You know that we would rather have you home safe than in harm’s way, but this is something that only you can determine. Don’t let the pressure of friends and family push you into coming home if you feel you need to stay. Only you can choose what is right for you. Just know that you take our love where ever you go, and we have a coffee date when you do make it back this way.
Ya, ummmmm. I would say, don’t worry about your friends and family in making this decision. They will be worried, they will miss you, they will want you closer, but in the end your happiness and your job fulfillment is what matters.
You are in my prayers!
What a tough decision to make! I will keep you in my prayers for sure. Your heart is in the right place, pray about it and let God’s will be done in your life. What a sad story you told us today. The people in that land certainly do need our prayers. You are amazing!
What a tough decision to make! I will keep you in my prayers for sure. Your heart is in the right place, pray about it and let God’s will be done in your life. What a sad story you told us today. The people in that land certainly do need our prayers. You are amazing!
What a tough decision to make! I will keep you in my prayers for sure. Your heart is in the right place, pray about it and let God’s will be done in your life. What a sad story you told us today. The people in that land certainly do need our prayers. You are amazing!
Hi Sweet Niece,
Such a profoundly sad story you have shared about this young woman. Things such as this, of course, have to be in the back of your mind as you weigh the pros & cons of the decision you need to make. The comforts that wait at home are tempting, although not without their challenges. Staying in Afghanistan is a world of unknowns but also a fulfullment for you in so many ways. I’m sending prayers up that you will make the right decision for you. I love you & miss you.
Auntie
Hi Sweet Niece,
Such a profoundly sad story you have shared about this young woman. Things such as this, of course, have to be in the back of your mind as you weigh the pros & cons of the decision you need to make. The comforts that wait at home are tempting, although not without their challenges. Staying in Afghanistan is a world of unknowns but also a fulfullment for you in so many ways. I’m sending prayers up that you will make the right decision for you. I love you & miss you.
Auntie
Hi Sweet Niece,
Such a profoundly sad story you have shared about this young woman. Things such as this, of course, have to be in the back of your mind as you weigh the pros & cons of the decision you need to make. The comforts that wait at home are tempting, although not without their challenges. Staying in Afghanistan is a world of unknowns but also a fulfullment for you in so many ways. I’m sending prayers up that you will make the right decision for you. I love you & miss you.
Auntie
Jolynn,
It seems that we have followed each other from state to state… although not country to country!) I am inspired by you and the work that you are doing. You feel a purpose and that is hard to come by in this life. We are all praying for you that God’s peace will be yours in this decision. We of course miss you and wish you were on safer ground… but you are living the adventure of a lifetime and making a difference in the process! Hugs, the Mac’s
Jolynn,
It seems that we have followed each other from state to state… although not country to country!) I am inspired by you and the work that you are doing. You feel a purpose and that is hard to come by in this life. We are all praying for you that God’s peace will be yours in this decision. We of course miss you and wish you were on safer ground… but you are living the adventure of a lifetime and making a difference in the process! Hugs, the Mac’s
Jolynn,
It seems that we have followed each other from state to state… although not country to country!) I am inspired by you and the work that you are doing. You feel a purpose and that is hard to come by in this life. We are all praying for you that God’s peace will be yours in this decision. We of course miss you and wish you were on safer ground… but you are living the adventure of a lifetime and making a difference in the process! Hugs, the Mac’s
Any hints at a decision yet?
Any hints at a decision yet?
You’ve embarked on a path which has obviously been very fulfilling. So, one has to ask, what are you coming back TO? Does it outweigh what you can achieve for others and yourself THERE? Of course, you have to consider the risk factors as well. What do you risk losing by staying? Not the least of which is ever present on your loved ones’ minds – your life. What do you risk losing by leaving?
You will be in my prayers for God’s wisdom in the decision and then His peace in the outcome.
Love,
Karen
You’ve embarked on a path which has obviously been very fulfilling. So, one has to ask, what are you coming back TO? Does it outweigh what you can achieve for others and yourself THERE? Of course, you have to consider the risk factors as well. What do you risk losing by staying? Not the least of which is ever present on your loved ones’ minds – your life. What do you risk losing by leaving?
You will be in my prayers for God’s wisdom in the decision and then His peace in the outcome.
Love,
Karen
Hi Jolynn,
What a decision! I know your family would love to have you return for they worry about your safety. But, I also know they want you to be happy and feel fulfilled. I think these feelings outweigh their fears.
You are doing a wonderful work in this far flung corner of the world. You’re making a difference for people with faces, some of whom you’ve come to love and care about. I know that wherever you are, there or in the States, God will take care of you (as the song says). Ask Him what to do. I’ll also ask Him for you.
Thank you for your wonderful scarf. It hasn’t been cool enough for me to wear it yet, but I’ll love it when I do.
Love you.
Hi Jolynn,
What a decision! I know your family would love to have you return for they worry about your safety. But, I also know they want you to be happy and feel fulfilled. I think these feelings outweigh their fears.
You are doing a wonderful work in this far flung corner of the world. You’re making a difference for people with faces, some of whom you’ve come to love and care about. I know that wherever you are, there or in the States, God will take care of you (as the song says). Ask Him what to do. I’ll also ask Him for you.
Thank you for your wonderful scarf. It hasn’t been cool enough for me to wear it yet, but I’ll love it when I do.
Love you.
Hi Jolynn,
What a decision! I know your family would love to have you return for they worry about your safety. But, I also know they want you to be happy and feel fulfilled. I think these feelings outweigh their fears.
You are doing a wonderful work in this far flung corner of the world. You’re making a difference for people with faces, some of whom you’ve come to love and care about. I know that wherever you are, there or in the States, God will take care of you (as the song says). Ask Him what to do. I’ll also ask Him for you.
Thank you for your wonderful scarf. It hasn’t been cool enough for me to wear it yet, but I’ll love it when I do.
Love you.